Sidharth Nair, a junior at Hopkinton High School, knows about grief firsthand. When he was 7 years old, his father passed away. That experience inspired him to help spread the message that loss hits people in different ways, and support is available.
As a freshman, Nair approached Ryan Waselik, a counselor at the school, to try to find ways to increase education on the topic in the building.
“My vision is to provide students and their families with access to the most appropriate resources for navigating loss,” Nair said.
Through his own efforts, Nair discovered the New York Life Foundation’s Grief Sensitive Schools Initiative.
Founded in 2018, the program is designed to better equip educators and other school personnel to raise awareness about the prevalence of childhood bereavement and “grief in school,” increase knowledge about resources available for schools, and support school districts to become grief-sensitive through resources, training, practical tools and a connection to a network of supportive services.
“My research to identify support resources tailored to students, caregivers and school staff led me to this initiative,” Nair said. “Youth and teens feel vulnerable to voice their ideas. … A big part of this [process] is to be vocal.”
Nair noted it is a struggle for teens to “put themselves out there” and ask for help.
According to a NYLF survey of U.S. educators, 1 in 14 children will experience the death of a parent or sibling by age 18, nearly 70% of teachers have at least one grieving student in their classroom, and only 7% classroom teachers get bereavement training.
Nair further pointed to the significant losses in families post-COVID and said the initiative extends to students and families facing difficulties while caring for loved ones with terminal illnesses.
Through his efforts and that of the Mental Health Department, Hopkinton High School became certified as a Grief Sensitive School.
He explained that certification opens doors to a grant and access to resources for the department “and through them, to all students.”
Waselik noted HHS has experienced loss from a peer and personal standpoint, and he “definitely noticed” a need for resources.
He said the school’s designation as a Grief Sensitive School involves a pledge to offer help to vulnerable students who are grieving.
Last year, Waselik said, a support group was offered during lunch/break time, though he noted students who are not comfortable sharing could be reached in other ways.
“We’ll meet them where they are at. … Everyone has a different path,” Waselik said, adding that the school can provide resources for families who would prefer not to speak openly about what they are experiencing.
Jeff’s Place in Framingham is one resource that has been beneficial. Thanks to the grant, Waselik said, HHS will continue offering the lunchtime grief support group for students who want to participate.
Waselik praised Nair for his commitment to the initiative and for “being very on top of the ball,” making others aware of it.
“I immediately saw his personal motivation when he came to me as a ninth grader,” the counselor said. “It obviously means a lot to him, and I think it is amazing he found this avenue to improve the community.”
Nair said he wants to give back to the community that helped him. He recalls school counselors when he was in second and third grade who aided him in processing his feelings following his father’s death.
Studies show unresolved grief can affect children socially and emotionally, leading to behavior and school performance issues. According to NYLF, only a quarter of those who lost a parent growing up say that their school was well prepared to help them.
Nair said his next hope is to see the initiative extended to the middle school.
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